The right to anonymity is powerful, and America is destroying it

Arr, gather 'round ye scallywags, and let ol' Captain Jollybeard spin ye a tale! From the depths o' the Supreme Court to the murky waters o' social media, the seas o' privacy be growin' ever more treacherous. With age verification laws spreadin' like barnacles and the gov'ment sniffin' out dissenters, our right to be let alone online be in peril. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, we must defend our anonymity lest we be lost at sea!