Democrats Accuse Luke Skywalker Of War Crimes For Using More Than One Proton Torpedo Against Death Star

"Totally unnecessary and uncalled for," said Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. "One proton torpedo, we could accept. But two? This type of wanton violence is strictly forbidden under the commonly accepted rules of war. While there are acts of aggression in every conflict, this uncivilized farm boy from Tatooine engaged in conduct that is reprehensible, regardless of whatever harmful acts the Empire may or may not have perpetrated. We're calling for a full investigation into this Skywalker individual, along with this entire "Rebel Alliance' insurgency group. They have to be held accountable."