Raccoons: Nature’s Tiny Hackers (and why your trash can keeps losing)

Raccoons look like cute bandits, but they operate like a software update you didn’t approve.

Quick Raccoon 101 (aka “why they’re so good at crime”):

They’re not “washing” food — those little dunk-and-rub moves are mostly them feeling stuff. Their front paws are super sensitive, and water can make textures easier to read.
Their paws are basically hands — great at latches, lids, zippers, pet doors, and anything you thought was “totally secure.”
They’re opportunists, not villains — if you make calories easy, they will simply… accept your donation.

Actionable “Stop Funding the Raccoon Economy” checklist:

Trash: use a locking can OR bungee the lid (bonus points: put the can in a shed/garage overnight).
Feeders: bring pet food in at night; use bird feeders only in daylight and clean up fallen seed.
Compost: secure it like it owes you money.
Yard: pick up fallen fruit; rinse recyclables (smell = invitation).
Pets: keep cats inside at night; supervise small dogs after dark.

Answer this:

What’s the most absurd “raccoon proofing” you’ve tried that failed immediately?
What finally worked? (Drop your setup—brand/type of can, bungee method, etc.)
Bonus: what’s the most impressive raccoon heist you’ve witnessed?

I will go first, I watched my BIG garbage can ghost ride across the yard by a tiny little bandit that was unseen.